After driving for about six hours, a trucker decides to pull over and sleep for a little while.
He is startled awake by some knocks on the cab’s door as soon as he falls asleep. “Can you tell me the time, please?” asks a jogger.
“Yeah, it’s 4:30,” answers the trucker.
He falls asleep again, but he is awoken again by another jogger who wants to know the time.
“It’s 4:40!” yells the trucker.
Deciding to really try to sleep a little, he writes on a piece of paper: I DON’T KNOW THE TIME.
He sticks the paper in his windshield. But he is awakened again. ‘It’s 5:25!” another jogger yells at him.
Here are some more jokes for you:
The Mysterious Caller One night, a man received a mysterious phone call. The caller said, “I know what you did, and I have pictures.” The man was puzzled and replied, “Who is this?” The caller replied, “Don’t worry about who I am.
Just know that I have evidence of your secret.” The man panicked and asked, “What do you want?” The caller calmly said, “I want five pizzas delivered to my address.”
Relieved, the man agreed. After hanging up, he realized he had dialed the wrong number and inadvertently ordered five pizzas to a stranger’s house.
The Talking Parrot A man bought a parrot from a pet store, but the parrot wouldn’t stop cursing and saying inappropriate things. The man tried everything to make the parrot behave, but nothing worked.
One day, the man had enough and put the parrot in the freezer for a few minutes. When he took the parrot out, it was shivering and quiet.
The parrot said, “I’m sorry for my behavior and language. I’ll be a good parrot from now on.” The man asked, “What changed your mind?” The parrot replied, “May I ask what the chicken did?”
The Deserted Island Three people were stranded on a deserted island: an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician. They found a can of food, but had no way to open it.
The engineer suggested building a contraption to open the can, the physicist proposed using rocks to smash it open, and the mathematician said, “Assume we have a can opener…”
The Genie and the Wishes A man found a magic lamp with a genie inside. The genie granted him three wishes, but with a twist: whatever he wished for, his worst enemy would receive double.
The man thought for a while and said, “I wish for a million dollars.” Poof! A million dollars appeared in front of him, and two million appeared in front of his enemy.
The man then said, “I wish for a luxurious mansion.” Poof! A mansion appeared, and two mansions appeared for his enemy. The man thought for a moment and said, “I wish to donate a kidney.”
The Train Ticket A man walked up to the train station counter and asked for a one-way ticket. The ticket agent asked, “Where to?” The man replied, “Just one way. I’m not bringing it back.”
The Clever Barber A man went to a new barber and asked, “Do you know how to cut hair?” The barber replied, “Of course, I’m a professional.” The man then said, “Great, because my previous barber didn’t know how, and that’s why I’m bald.”
The Magic Mirror A man bought a magic mirror that could answer any question truthfully. He decided to test it and asked, “Mirror, who’s the most handsome man in the world?”
The mirror replied, “You are.” The man grinned and said, “That’s a smart mirror!”
