A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will.
”To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $8 million” the attorney reads.
“To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $3 million”
”And finally’ the lawyer concludes, ‘to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me though i would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong. Hi Dan!”
Here are some more jokes for you:
The Forgetful Magician Title: A Magical Memory Lapse
Once, a forgetful magician performed a show. He waved his wand and shouted, “Abracadabra! Disappear!” But then he forgot the spell to bring things back. Now he’s stuck with a disappearing act that never ends!
The Intelligent Lightbulb Title: Bright Ideas
Why did the intelligent lightbulb feel sad? Because it couldn’t find a filament of friendship with the dim-witted candles!
The Musical Zoo Title: Zoo-Phonic Harmony
What do you get when you cross a gorilla with a boombox? A wild animal that’s great at gorilla beats!
The Space Restaurant Title: Out-of-This-World Dining
I went to a restaurant on the moon the other day. The food was excellent, but there was just no atmosphere!
The Talkative Parrot Title: Polly Wants a Podium
Why did the parrot become a motivational speaker? Because it always knew how to get everyone squawking about positive change!
The Tech-Savvy Farmer Title: Silicon Soil
Why did the farmer become a computer expert? He wanted to excel at spreading his ‘seeds’ in spreadsheets!
The Athletic Snail Title: Turbo Trails
Why did the snail start a workout routine? It wanted to leave a slimy trail of inspiration for sluggish creatures everywhere!
The Time-Traveling Gardener Title: Back to the Fuchsia-ture
I met a gardener who claimed to have a time machine. He said he once went to the future and brought back some rare flowers. But when I asked to see them, he said he forgot where he planted them!
The Shapeshifting Pencil Title: Pencil-Vania
Why did the pencil enroll in an art class? It wanted to learn how to draw a better line between being a #2 and a sketch artist!
The Starfish Comedian Title: Underwater Stand-Up
Why did the starfish get kicked out of the comedy club? Its jokes were too one-dimensional, just like its arms!
The Haunted Elevator Title: Going Up… and Spooked!
I took an elevator in a haunted house, and it was really slow. I guess it was just trying to raise people’s spirits!
The Multilingual Cat Title: Paws and Translate
Why did the cat start learning different languages? It wanted to finally understand if humans were saying “Here, kitty kitty” or “Go away, furball”!
The Detective Squirrel Title: Nutty Investigations
Why did the squirrel become a detective? It had a knack for cracking tough cases – or should I say, nut-cases!
The Social Media Tree Title: Tree-Tweets
Why did the tree join social media? It wanted to branch out and connect with its roots!
The Complaining Cloud Title: Stormy Outlook
Why was the cloud always unhappy? Because it was constantly mistreated and misunderstood, and nobody ever took time to listen to its weather woes!
