A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client.
“Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.”
The art collector replied, “You know, I’ve had an awful day, Jack, so let’s hear the good news first.”
The lawyer said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she thinks will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million … and I think she could be right.”
Saul replied enthusiastically, “Holy cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn’t she? You’ve just made my day. Now, I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?”
The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary
Here are some more jokes for you
The Musical Elevator Title: Elevator Harmony
Why did the elevator start singing?
Because it wanted to lift everyone’s spirits along with the floors!
The Athletic Smartphone Title: Smartphone Sprint
Why did the smartphone apply for a gym membership?
Because it wanted to improve its “cell-f” esteem and get a better connection to fitness!
The Artistic Vegetables Title: Canvas Carrots
Why did the carrots enroll in an art class?
Because they wanted to learn how to draw more than just puzzled looks from bunnies!
The Weather-Defying Snowman Title: Frosty’s Vacation
Why did the snowman book a flight to the desert?
Because he heard he could finally experience a “melt”-down of a different kind!
The Talkative Clock Title: Tick-Tock Therapy
Why did the clock go to therapy?
Because it felt like its constant “second”-guessing was affecting its “minute”-al health!
The Gardening Computers Title: Binary Botany
Why did the computers start a gardening club?
Because they wanted to understand how to process plants and let their algorithms “grow”!
The Fashionable Ghost Title: Haute Haunt Couture
Why did the ghost become a fashion designer?
Because it realized that translucent sheets were so last season and wanted to make a “boo”-tiful statement!
The Surfing Vacuum Cleaner Title: Suction Swell
Why did the vacuum cleaner take up surfing?
Because it wanted to “suck up” the waves and prove that cleanliness can be gnarly!
The Coffee-Loving Astronaut Title: Cosmic Caffeine
Why did the astronaut bring a coffee machine to space?
Because they needed a way to “mug”-nify their energy levels among the stars!
The Organized Zombies Title: Undead Efficiency
Why did the zombies start a time management seminar?
Because they realized that life (or unlife) is too short not to “corpse”porate proper planning!
