I Want My Mom to Babysit, But She Wants to Be Paid

A new mom was looking for childcare for her newborn when she decided to ask her 64-year-old mother. Yet, she was taken aback when her mom requested payment, resulting in some family tensions.

A woman shared on Reddit about her predicament with her mother. She had just become a new mother herself and needed help to look after her baby once she returned to work.

Thinking that her mother would be the perfect fit, she felt her plans unravel when her mom wasn’t exactly thrilled to take on a full-time babysitting role.

The grandmother, who had been a homemaker since 1992, explained she felt she was too old for such a commitment. She further expressed that having raised her own children, she felt her daughter should have planned to stay home if she intended to have a child.

Her point was clear: during their parenting days, she and her husband decided she would stay at home while he worked, and suggested her daughter try to find a similar balance within her own family.

However, the new mom, aged 29, shared that their financial situation was quite different. The recent pandemic had impacted their financial stability significantly. She laid out her financial constraints.

According to her, “I make $55,000 a year, but owe $39,000 in student loans and another $20,000 in various other debts like credit cards and car loans. My partner earns about $36,000 annually and has $5,000 in credit card debt.”

With her being the main earner in their household and saddled with significant debt, she felt compelled to return to work. Living in a compact one-bedroom apartment only underscored their need to economize until they could upgrade to accommodate their growing family.

Still, her mother’s terms were unsettling. The grandmother wanted $20 an hour, extra fees if there were late pickups, plus a request for a car seat and stroller. She would also require compensation for transportation as babysitting at the daughter’s apartment wasn’t an option.

The new mother noted her mom lived just 15 minutes away and rarely visited their apartment. But the grandmother had personal reasons for her aversion to visiting.

With these demands, the daughter felt her mom’s requests were unreasonsable—especially given the investment needed in buying baby gear twice over.

What seemed like a straightforward solution turned contentious. With the terms set, enrolling the newborn in a care center appeared both practical and cost-effective compared to what her mother required.

She reached out to others on Reddit, questioning if she was wrong for not wanting to pay her mom for babysitting. “She doesn’t do anything besides watch TV and cook,” she lamented.

The online responses weren’t in her favor. Many sided with her mother, suggesting childcare responsibilities aren’t obligations but choices. They reminded her that caring for children is an arduous job, one her retired mother had done in her own time.

Other commenters criticized her for stating her mother’s current lifestyle dismissively, pointing out that she is well within her rights to refuse the babysitting request.

Many expressed the sentiment that the daughter should have had a conversation with her mother during the pregnancy, knowing she would need childcare support after returning to work.

These sentiments painted the woman as somewhat entitled among readers, highlighting the importance of planning and communication.