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  The Landlord Evicted Me For A ‘noise Complaint.’ The Police Said He Was Trying To Save My Life.

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  They Pulled Over A ‘gangster’ For A Broken Taillight. Then They Opened His Cooler.

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  She Told The Old Man In Line To Hurry Up And Die. Then The Clerk Read His Name.

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  My Sister And I Were Splitting Our Mother’s Will. Then The Lawyer Read The ‘paternity Clause’.

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  I Fired The Old Cleaning Lady For Being Late. Now The Ceo Is On His Knees.

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  I Told A “dirty Farmer” To Get Off The Showroom Floor. He Came Back With My Boss.

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  Five Truckers Formed A Wall To Save The Ducks. Then One Of Them Put On Latex Gloves.

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  The Salesman Told The “hobo” To Use The Service Entrance. He Didn’t Know He Was Talking To His New Boss.

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  They Asked To Borrow Money After I Won The Lottery. I Said No. Then They Gave Me A Cake.

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  Commander Walsh Mocked The “clumsy” New Recruit – Until He Saw Her Arm.

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  I Got Fired For Pulling A Grandma From A Fire. Then I Saw Her Son’s Name On The News.

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  She Wrote “get A Real Job” On The Receipt. The Next Day, I Was The Judge In Her Husband’s Case.