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  It was another weekend, and I had another text from my sister Lauren “Sit the kids today. I’ll drop them off at 9 a.m. Just for a couple of hours.”

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  53-YEAR-OLD WOMAN GAVE BIRTH TO TWINS, BUT THEY TURNED OUT TO HAVE THE SAME BIRTHMARKS AS HER SON-IN-LAW.

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  I ADOPTED A 4-YEAR-OLD BOY—EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT UNTIL HIS FIRST BIRTHDAY WITH ME

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  WOMAN GIVES LEFTOVERS FROM HER RESTAURANT TO A POOR BOY — ONE DAY, SHE DECIDES TO FOLLOW HIM

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  MY WIFE SAID “IT’S HER OR ME”—AND I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

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  MY DOG GOT MAULED—AND THEN WE GOT BLAMED FOR IT

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  MY SON SHARED HIS FRIES—AND ENDED UP PRAYING WITH A CHILD WHO DIDN’T HAVE A HOME TO GO BACK TO

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  MY HUSBAND MADE ME WRITE EXPLANATORY NOTES FOR EACH OF MY PURCHASES 

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  SHE SCREAMED AT HIM FOR BRINGING A SURFBOARD—THEN HE SAID SOMETHING THAT SHUT US ALL UP

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  I TOOK MY SON FOR A MILKSHAKE—AND HE TAUGHT ME MORE THAN I’VE TAUGHT HIM

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  THE KIDS RAN AHEAD—BUT THEN I SAW THEM STOP AND TURN BACK

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  MY BOSS FIRED ME FOR “STEALING” A SANDWICH—BUT THE REAL REASON WAS WORSE