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  HE LAUGHED WHEN I TOLD HIM WHERE I WORK—BUT I DIDN’T EVEN TELL HIM THE WHOLE TRUTH

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  I GAVE BIRTH, LOST MY LEG, AND FOUGHT CANCER—ALL IN HALF A YEAR

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  HE RAISED HIS HAND AT 95—AND EVERYTHING FROZE

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  MY SON DIDN’T SPEAK FOR YEARS—UNTIL HIS SISTER SANG THIS ONE SONG

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  THEY WERE DANCING IN THE LIVING ROOM LIKE NOTHING HAD HAPPENED

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  MY MOTHER-IN-LAW SHOWED UP UNINVITED—BUT MY FATHER-IN-LAW PULLED ME ASIDE AND SAID SOMETHING I CAN’T UNHEAR

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  HE WOULDN’T STOP CLIMBING INTO MY LAP—EVEN WHEN HE COULD BARELY STAND

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  “Simon, come here for a moment,” the owner, a tall and slightly intimidating man named Gregory, waved him over.

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  ALL THREE OF MY MARRIAGES FELL APART WITHIN THREE YEARS OF MY FIRST HUSBAND’S DEATH – THEN I DISCOVERED WHO ELSE WAS INVOLVED

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  AT MY WIFE’S GRAVE, I LEARNED OUR TRIPLETS WEREN’T ACTUALLY MINE

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  MY STEPMOM STOLE MY LATE MOM’S WEDDING DRESS TO MARRY MY DAD – EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MEANT FOR ME.

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  I WAS HAPPY FOR MY EX-HUSBAND’S NEW MARRIAGE — UNTIL I SAW A PHOTO OF HIS FIANCÉE