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  FIVE YEARS AFTER MY WIFE’S DEATH, I TOOK MY CHILD TO MY BEST FRIEND’S WEDDING – WHEN I SAW THE BRIDE, MY DAUGHTER ASKED, “DADDY, WHY ARE YOU CRYING?”

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  “I’m having a baby!!” I screamed as a flight attendant rushed over to me.

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  DESPERATE TO AFFORD MY DAD’S EMERGENCY SURGERY, I ACCEPTED A STRANGER’S OFFER THAT WENT AGAINST MY PRINCIPLES.

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  I decided to surprise my fiancé’s family with some exciting news over dinner.

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  HE GAVE HIS UMBRELLA TO A STRAY CAT—AND THAT’S NOT EVEN THE PART THAT GOT ME

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  HE WOULDN’T LET GO OF THE CHICKEN—AND I DIDN’T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HIM WHY SHE WAS MISSING YESTERDAY

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  HE JUST NEEDED $25 FOR A HAIRCUT—BUT WHAT HE DID WITH IT SHOOK ME

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  HE KEPT TAKING HER TO THE SAME RESTAURANT—EVEN AFTER SHE STOPPED RECOGNIZING HIM

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  I PAID FOR A STRANGER’S GROCERIES TWO YEARS AGO—AND TODAY, I GOT THIS IN THE MAIL

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  SHE DIDN’T SAY A WORD—JUST SAT DOWN AND HELD ME UNTIL I COULD BREATHE AGAIN

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  HE BUYS HER THE SAME ROSES EVERY WEEK—EVEN THOUGH SHE DOESN’T REMEMBER WHY

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  I WAS ABOUT TO GET TOWED—UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED “METER HOMIE” SHOWED UP