His Wife Was Upset, The Chemist Explained Why

… the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife

Tearfully, she explained, “It’s the druggist – he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”

Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute – listen to my side of it.  This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. 

I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t lock the house with both house and car keys inside.  I had to break a window to get my keys.”

“Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket

Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire

When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.  I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.”

“Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. 

I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels – the phone is still ringing – when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.”

“The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it

It was your wife – she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.  Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!”

Here are some more jokes for you.

Quantum Garden Party

Why did the garden creatures throw a quantum-themed party?

Because they wanted to dance to the rhythm of “uncertainty” and show that even in a world of superpositions, fun could be multiplied!

Time-Traveling Photographers

Why did the photographers journey to ancient civilizations?

To capture moments in history while slyly disguising their futuristic cameras as ancient scrolls, leaving archaeologists scratching their heads over the “scroll-filter” effect!

Pirate Painters

Why did the pirates swap swords for paintbrushes?

Because they realized that plundering color palettes could be just as thrilling, and they wanted to find the perfect hue for the legendary “X marks the spot”!

Haunted Comedy Club

Why did the ghosts open a comedy club?

Because they knew that laughter was the best way to channel their ectoplasmic energy, and they wanted to prove that even phantoms had a sense of humor!

Spacefaring Philosophical Poets

Why did the poets set off for the stars?

To pen verses that reached across galaxies, stitching constellations into stanzas and rhyming the universe’s secrets into the cosmic tapestry of language!

Melodic Mathematician Musicians

Why did the mathematicians start a rock band?

Because they realized that music and math were two sides of the same rhythm, and they believed that every equation deserved a groovy beat!

Philosophical Owls

Why did the owls form a debate club?

Because they believed that the “hoot” of every question deserved contemplation, whether it was about “Who-ology” or the deep “night-thoughts” of existence!

Zen Garden Robots’ Retreat

Why did the robots visit a Zen garden?

Because they wanted to recalibrate their inner processors, achieve binary balance, and finally answer the question: “What is the sound of one algorithm clapping?”

Haunted Bookstore

Why did the ghosts open a bookstore?

Because they wanted to celebrate the stories that had outlived their creators, the whispers of characters long-gone, and the enchantment that lingered in every word!

Alien Magicians

Why did the aliens become magicians on Earth?

Because they realized that the best way to blend in with humans was to make things disappear and reappear, just like the way their spaceships often vanished from radar!