An elderly couple is traveling to visit family by car. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to get a room. They only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it’s a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the‘standard rate’.
He insisted on speaking to the Manager.The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympicsized pool and a huge conference center that were available for us to use.
“But we didn’t use them” the husband said.
“Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the Manager. The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous.
“We have the best entertainers from New York, Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says. “But we didn’t go to any of those shows” the husband said.
“Well, we have them, and you could have.” the Manager replied. No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, “But we didn’t use it!” The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay.
As he didn’t have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check. She did and gave it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
“But ma’am, this is made out for only $50.00.” “That’s correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied. “But I didn’t ” exclaims the Manager. “Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.” Don’t mess with senior citizens…They didn’t get that age by being stupid!
Here are some more jokes for you:
The Quantum Barber Title: “Trimming the Multiverse”
Why did the physicist become a barber?
Because they realized that parallel universes needed a little “dimensional styling” to keep their split ends in check! Every haircut became a journey through the cosmic possibilities of coiffure!
The Time-Traveling Baker Title: “Dough through the Ages”
Why did the baker travel back in time to ancient Rome?
To introduce the world to “empire-worthy” sourdough and watch the birth of pizza as it exchanged culinary ideas with the Romans! Their bakery became a portal to the past, and their bread held the secret recipe for time-traveling taste buds!
The Zen Dog Walker Title: “Leash of Tranquility”
Why did the dog walker start practicing Zen meditation?
Because they realized that walking a pack of energetic canines required the same level of mindfulness as achieving inner “paw-sitive” peace! Each step became a tranquil journey into the realm of wagging tails and peaceful thoughts.
The Robot Stand-up Comedian Title: “Bits and Giggabytes”
Why did the robot start doing stand-up comedy?
Because it figured that if it could process data at lightning speed, it should be able to generate “byte-sized” laughs with its robotic sense of humor! Its jokes were carefully crafted algorithms that tickled circuits and human funny bones alike!
The Martian Photographer Title: “Red Planet Captures”
Why did the photographer move to Mars?
To capture the breathtaking “out-of-this-world” landscapes and prove that even the universe’s most distant destinations are Instagram-worthy! The Martian sunsets and alien terrain became their canvas, with every photo an interstellar masterpiece!
The Haunted Scientist Title: “Spectral Experiments”
Why did the scientist become a ghost hunter?
Because they saw potential in combining their scientific skills with spectral exploration to create groundbreaking “boo-tiful” discoveries! Each haunted house was a laboratory of otherworldly phenomena waiting to be understood by both the living and the ethereal!
The Acrobatic Astronaut Title: “Zero-G Gymnastics”
Why did the astronaut join the circus after returning from space?
Because they couldn’t resist the chance to show off their newfound “weightless” skills and prove that gravity wasn’t their only performance partner! Their flips and twirls in space became aerial spectacles that dazzled circus audiences on Earth!
