Recently, my husband and I purchased a new house. And my MIL immediately started pushing us to give her an emergency key.

She promised that she would ONLY use it in an emergency, but I just couldn’t trust her, as she previously walked in on us being intimate twice, so I sent her a FAKE key.

The next time, when she came without notice and tried to get in, she stood outside fumbling with the lock for several minutes. I watched from the security camera as she grew more frustrated, yanking and twisting the key, muttering under her breath. Then, after a final unsuccessful attempt, she pulled out her phone and called my husband.

“The key you gave me doesn’t work!” she complained.

My husband, who had no idea I gave her a fake key, shot me a confused look. I just shrugged and whispered, “We need to talk later.”

“Mom, why are you trying to get into our house?” he asked.

“I was just checking in! I thought I’d water the plants, maybe tidy up a bit.”

“We never asked you to do that,” he said firmly.

She huffed and said, “Well, what if it was an emergency? What if something happened to you two?”

“Then you’d call us, like a normal person,” he replied.

That night, I told him the truth about the fake key. At first, he was taken aback, but as we replayed the security footage together, he saw just how determined she was to barge in uninvited.

“I get it now,” he admitted, rubbing his temples. “But you know this isn’t the end of it, right?”

Sure enough, the next day, my MIL sent a long, dramatic text about how hurt she was that we didn’t trust her. She even roped in my husband’s sister, who chimed in, saying, “She just wants to help! You’re being so harsh!”

I responded calmly, “We love you, but our home is our private space. We need boundaries. If there’s ever a real emergency, we will handle it.”

MIL didn’t reply, but later that week, she showed up again. This time, she had a locksmith with her.

I was working from home when I saw them through the security app. My heart dropped. She was actually trying to change our locks!

I threw open the door. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

She looked startled but quickly composed herself. “Sweetheart, the lock must be broken. I got someone to fix it.”

The locksmith, clearly unaware of the drama, looked at me and asked, “You’re the homeowner?”

“Yes, and I didn’t request any changes to my locks. You can leave now.”

He nodded, packed up his things, and left without argument.

My MIL, on the other hand, went into full victim mode.

“I was just trying to help! You made a mistake giving me a faulty key!” she wailed.

I folded my arms. “You do realize that if I had given you a working key, you would’ve just let yourself in, right?”

She sputtered, trying to come up with a response, but I didn’t let her.

“MIL, you don’t respect our privacy. You have no reason to be here uninvited. If you keep this up, we’ll have to rethink how much access you get to our lives.”

She left in a huff, and my husband backed me up completely. We installed a smart lock and made sure she had no way of accessing our house without permission.

Over time, she calmed down and, though grudgingly, accepted that she wasn’t entitled to free rein over our home. She still drops hints about how “all good families share keys,” but we’ve stood firm.

The lesson? Setting boundaries isn’t disrespectful. People who truly care about you will respect them, even if it takes time for them to adjust.

Have you ever had to set firm boundaries with family? How did it go? Share your experience in the comments!