This guys bad dat went from bad to worse!

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client.

“Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.”

The art collector replied, “You know, I’ve had an awful day, Jack, so let’s hear the good news first.”

The lawyer said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she thinks will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million … and I think she could be right.”

Saul replied enthusiastically, “Holy cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn’t she? You’ve just made my day. Now, I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?”

The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary

Here are some more jokes for you

The Musical Elevator Title: Elevator Harmony

Why did the elevator start singing?

Because it wanted to lift everyone’s spirits along with the floors!

The Athletic Smartphone Title: Smartphone Sprint

Why did the smartphone apply for a gym membership?

Because it wanted to improve its “cell-f” esteem and get a better connection to fitness!

The Artistic Vegetables Title: Canvas Carrots

Why did the carrots enroll in an art class?

Because they wanted to learn how to draw more than just puzzled looks from bunnies!

The Weather-Defying Snowman Title: Frosty’s Vacation

Why did the snowman book a flight to the desert?

Because he heard he could finally experience a “melt”-down of a different kind!

The Talkative Clock Title: Tick-Tock Therapy

Why did the clock go to therapy?

Because it felt like its constant “second”-guessing was affecting its “minute”-al health!

The Gardening Computers Title: Binary Botany

Why did the computers start a gardening club?

Because they wanted to understand how to process plants and let their algorithms “grow”!

The Fashionable Ghost Title: Haute Haunt Couture

Why did the ghost become a fashion designer?

Because it realized that translucent sheets were so last season and wanted to make a “boo”-tiful statement!

The Surfing Vacuum Cleaner Title: Suction Swell

Why did the vacuum cleaner take up surfing?

Because it wanted to “suck up” the waves and prove that cleanliness can be gnarly!

The Coffee-Loving Astronaut Title: Cosmic Caffeine

Why did the astronaut bring a coffee machine to space?

Because they needed a way to “mug”-nify their energy levels among the stars!

The Organized Zombies Title: Undead Efficiency

Why did the zombies start a time management seminar?

Because they realized that life (or unlife) is too short not to “corpse”porate proper planning!