The hardest part wasnโt packing up her things. It wasnโt signing the paperwork or walking through those beige, too-quiet halls. It was when she smiled at me and said, โYou donโt have to visit every day, sweetheart. Iโll be just fine.โ
She said it like she believed it. Like she was trying to make me feel better.
We all agreed it was time. Momโs memory had started to slipโlittle things at first, like forgetting if sheโd eaten or where she put her purse. Then she wandered out of the house in the middle of the night and the neighbor found her in her robe, barefoot, asking where Dad went.
Dadโs been gone eight years.
It wasnโt safe anymore. My sister Salome and I both work full-time, and we have our own kids to take care of. We tried rotating days, hiring a caregiver, but Mom kept firing people. Said she didnโt want โa stranger giving her a bath.โ
The nursing home isnโt bad, honestly. Clean place, kind staff, nice courtyard with a bird feeder she likes to watch. But the minute we left her room, I felt this horrible lump in my throat. Like weโd just abandoned her.
In the car, Salome didnโt say much. She just stared out the window and picked at her nail polish.
โI feel like weโre giving up on her,โ I finally said.
โWeโre not,โ she mumbled, but her voice cracked a little. โWeโre justโฆ out of options.โ
That night, I couldnโt sleep. I kept thinking about Mom brushing my hair when I was little, humming old songs while she packed my lunch. Now Iโd left her in a room with a plastic mattress and a call button she probably wonโt remember to press.
Then the phone rang. 6:47 a.m.
It was the nursing home.
My heart jumped into my throat. I didnโt even say hello, just answered with, โIs everything okay?โ
The voice on the other end was calm, which helped. โYour mother is fine, physically,โ the woman said. โBut she was very upset this morning. She tried to leave the buildingโsaid she needed to pick up her daughter from school.โ
I closed my eyes. That daughter was me, probably. Second grade. Yellow backpack with the frog keychain. The memory twisted something sharp in my chest.
โSheโs calmer now,โ the nurse said. โBut we think it might help to have a familiar face visit soon.โ
I was already pulling jeans over my pajama pants when I hung up. Texted Salome: Iโm going over now. Will update you.
By the time I got there, Mom was in the common room, sitting stiffly in a chair by the window, staring at the bird feeder like she was waiting for someone who never came.
She barely looked up when I walked in. Just said, โYouโre late, baby. The teacher already called.โ
It took everything in me not to cry.
I sat beside her and took her hand. It felt colder than I remembered. โSorry, Mom. Got stuck in traffic.โ
She nodded like it made perfect sense.
That visit turned into a daily routine. I told work I needed to cut back a few hours. They werenโt thrilled, but I didnโt give them a choice. I brought Mom little things each timeโher old scarf that still smelled like White Rain shampoo, the worn paperback she used to read every spring, pictures from when we were kids.
Some days, she was present. Sheโd ask about my kids, tell me which nurse had โcrooked lipstickโ or how the man down the hall kept calling her โJune,โ even though her name is Halima. But other days, she didnโt know me at all. Called me โFatimaโ or โthe nice girl who brings snacks.โ
One day, she looked me dead in the eye and asked, โDid your mother ever teach you how to braid?โ
โIโฆ yeah, she did.โ
โShe mustโve loved you a lot,โ she said, softly, and went back to watching the birds.
I made it a mission to visit every day. Even if it was just for twenty minutes. Even if she didnโt know who I was. I told myself it was for her, but it was also for me. I couldnโt live with that guilt if I didnโt.
Salome, on the other hand, started coming less and less.
At first, it was because her youngest got the flu. Then work got busy. Then she said she thought it was better to โgive Mom space to adjust.โ
I didnโt push. Not until one Sunday, when I found Mom in her room crying because she swore Salome was mad at her and refusing to visit.
โShe wonโt take my calls,โ Mom whispered, even though her phone was still on airplane mode.
I texted Salome right there in the hallway. Come visit her this week. She misses you. Sheโs crying.
She texted back three hours later: I canโt handle watching her like that. It wrecks me.
I didnโt reply. What was there to say?
Two weeks passed. I kept visiting. Bringing hand cream, cardigans, plums. I started to learn the names of the other residents, too. Ms. Min from Room 104, who asked me every day if the war was over. Harold in 207, who played dominoes like he was betting real money. And Jaya, a nurse who had the patience of a saint and a sneaky sense of humor.
One Thursday, Jaya pulled me aside.
โCan I show you something?โ
I followed her to the staff desk, and she slid me a clipboard. โYour momโs been giving away some of her jewelry,โ she said carefully. โMostly to staff and other residents. Weโve told her she canโt, but sheโs very persuasive.โ
I blinked. โJewelry? What jewelry?โ
โShe gave her watch to a man in the lounge. Said it was for his โpromotion.โ And a gold bangle to one of the aides.โ
That set off a quiet panic. I remembered the small jewelry box weโd left in her nightstandโjust the sentimental stuff, nothing crazy expensive. But still. Mom didnโt part with her things lightly.
When I opened the drawer later, it was nearly empty.
I asked her gently, โMom, do you remember what happened to your jewelry?โ
She frowned. โSalome took it,โ she said. โShe said sheโd keep it safe.โ
I froze. โWhen was that?โ
โTuesday,โ she said, with shaky certainty.
But Tuesday was two days ago. And Salome hadnโt visited in weeks.
I called her as soon as I got in the car. โDid you take Momโs jewelry box?โ
There was a pause. โWhat? No. I havenโt even been there.โ
โShe says you took it on Tuesday.โ
Salome sighed. โAnd she also thinks itโs 1992 and sheโs still working at the bakery. Come on.โ
โBut the box is empty.โ
โWell, maybe she gave it away like you said. I donโt know. I didnโt touch it.โ
I wanted to believe her. But the knot in my stomach wouldnโt go away.
That weekend, I showed up unannounced at Salomeโs house. She looked surprised to see me but let me in.
โListen,โ I said, sitting at her kitchen table. โIf you took the jewelry because you were worried itโd get lost, just tell me. Iโm not mad. I just want to know.โ
She crossed her arms. โI told you. I didnโt touch it.โ
I let it go. Mostly because I didnโt want to believe my own sister would lie.
But a week later, something happened that changed everything.
I was folding laundry when I got a call from Jaya.
โYour mom had a bad fall,โ she said gently. โSheโs okay, but we had to take her to the hospital for a scan. She tripped coming out of the bathroom.โ
I rushed there, heart racing. When I saw her in the ER bed, bruised and confused, my chest physically hurt.
She looked up at me and whispered, โI was looking for my bracelet. The one with the blue stone.โ
That bracelet had been her favorite. Dad gave it to her on their 20th anniversary.
I sat beside her and held her hand. โWeโll find it, Mama. I promise.โ
After she was stable and resting, I went home and cried like a child. Then I did something I hadnโt done in yearsโI went into Dadโs old files. Found the insurance paperwork. And the old safe code he used to keep.
I remembered that some of Momโs good jewelry had been stored in the safe at Salomeโs request โso nothing would get stolen during the move.โ
It was 2 a.m. when I drove to our parentsโ houseโthe one Salome had been living in since Mom moved out. I still had a key.
I let myself in and went to the coat closet, where the safe was hidden behind a false panel. I turned the dial slowly, hands trembling.
Inside were Dadโs watches. Some old photos. And a Ziploc bag filled with Momโs jewelry. All of it.
I stared at it for a long time. Then I sat down on the carpet and just breathed.
I didnโt tell Salome Iโd found it. Not right away.
But I started visiting her less and focusing more on Mom. And something strange happened. With each visit, Mom seemed a little more at peace. She still forgot things, still got lost in time. But she also laughed again. She braided my hair one afternoon and told me I looked like her sister growing up. She called me by my name three days in a row.
Then, one morning, she handed me a photo of Salome and me as kids and said, โTell her Iโm not mad. I just wish sheโd come say hi.โ
I sent that exact message to Salome. And to her credit, she showed up that week with flowers and cinnamon rolls.
Mom lit up when she saw her.
They talked for twenty minutes. It was mostly nonsense, but I could tell it mattered. To both of them.
After that, Salome started visiting again. Not every day, but once a week. She never mentioned the jewelry, and I never brought it up.
But for her birthday that year, I mailed her one thing from the safe: the silver locket with a baby photo of us inside.
She sent me a single text: Thank you. Iโm sorry. I didnโt know how to deal with any of this.
Thatโs the thing no one tells you about watching your parent fade awayโit breaks every part of you. The guilt, the resentment, the helplessness. Itโs not linear. Itโs messy and quiet and painful in ways you donโt expect.
But somehow, we find our way through it. Bit by bit.
Now, every time I visit Mom, I bring her fresh mango slices and tell her whatever good thing happened that week. She listens like itโs all brand new. Sometimes it is.
The guilt hasnโt gone away completely. But it doesnโt swallow me anymore. Because I know, deep down, we didnโt abandon her.
Weโre still showing up.
Even if she forgets us tomorrow, we showed up today. And sometimes, thatโs enough.
If youโve ever had to make a hard decision for someone you love, I hope you knowโit doesnโt make you a bad person. Just a human trying their best.
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