TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN.
AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, “GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.
THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I’M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.’
THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, ‘YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!’
‘DEAD?’ SAYS HIS FRIEND, ‘WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?’
‘WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.’
HIS FRIEND SAYS, ‘COULD BE WORSE, I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.’
‘A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?’
‘WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER,
KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE,
THEN SHE FARTED, FLEW OUT THE WINDOW AND TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER !!!
Here are some more jokes for you:
The Quantum Barber Title: “Trimming the Multiverse”
Why did the physicist become a barber?
Because they realized that parallel universes needed a little “dimensional styling” to keep their split ends in check!
The Vegetable Orchestra Title: “Harvest Harmonies”
Why did the group of vegetables start a band?
Because they wanted to prove that even “root” vegetables could produce music that’s as fresh as their crunch!
The Marathon-Reading Turtle Title: “Pages of Patience”
Why did the turtle sign up for a marathon?
Because it believed in embracing the journey and knew that every “tortoise-paced” page turned was a step toward the finish line of knowledge!
The Mime’s Haunted House Title: “Silent Spooks”
Why did the mime open a haunted house attraction?
Because they understood that sometimes, the scariest things can be conveyed through “invisible” gestures and imaginary horrors!
The Zen Pizza Maker Title: “Dough of Tranquility”
Why did the pizza chef become a Zen master?
Because they realized that kneading dough required the same kind of focused calmness as achieving inner “cheese” in meditation!
The Polite Alien Invasion Title: “Galactic Etiquette”
Why did the aliens visit Earth?
To teach humanity the “universal” values of respecting personal space and saying “take me to your leader” with impeccable manners!
The Philosophical Chicken Title: “Existential Eggistentialism”
Why did the chicken cross the road… of philosophical inquiry?
To explore questions like “Why are we here?” and “Is the road a metaphor for life’s journey or just a means to escape the farmer?”
The Virtual Reality Farmer Title: “Bits and Bales”
Why did the farmer start using virtual reality?
To experience the joys of planting “virtual” crops and raising “pixelated” livestock without worrying about real-life weather!
The Archaeologist Comedian Title: “Punchlines from the Past”
Why did the archaeologist become a comedian?
Because they had a knack for “unearthing” ancient jokes and bringing mummies to life with laughter!
The Inventing Octopus Title: “Ink-genious Creations”
Why did the octopus start inventing things?
Because it realized that having eight tentacles meant it could multitask its way into creating “ink-redible” contraptions that solve underwater problems!
