On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
“One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,” said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence. Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle.
As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, “One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me ….” He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off.
Just around the bend, he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. “Come here quick,” said the boy,
“you won’t believe what I heard! The Devil and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!”
The man said,
“Beat it, kid, can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.” When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard,
“One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.”
The old man whispered,
“Boy, you’ve been tellin’ me the truth. Let’s see if we can see the Lord…?”
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything.
The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last, they heard,
“One for you, one for me. That’s all. Now let’s go get those nuts by the fence and we’ll be done.”
The old man beat the boy to the gate.
Here are some more jokes for you:
The Artistic Banker Title: “Financially Framed”
Why did the banker become a painter?
Because they heard that money could be “drawn” with a brush and canvas!
The Time-Traveling Gardener Title: “Horticultural History”
Why did the gardener go back in time to ancient Egypt?
To learn the secrets of cultivating the “root” of civilization and witness the birth of pyramid-shaped bushes!
The Alien’s Vacation Title: “Extraterrestrial Getaway”
Why did the alien visit Earth during winter?
Because they wanted to experience the “cool” temperatures of intergalactic travel!
The Musical Baker Title: “Bread and Beats”
Why did the baker start a band?
Because they believed that every great song should have a “knead”-worthy melody and a tasty rhythm section!
The Philosophical Dog Title: “Paws for Thought”
Why did the dog start studying philosophy?
Because it wanted to explore the deeper meanings behind chasing its own tail!
The Marathon-Eating Champion Title: “Feast and Fleet”
Why did the competitive eater sign up for a marathon?
Because they heard there would be a “buffet” at the finish line, and they were determined to race to the food tables!
The Inventive Ghost Title: “Ethereal Innovations”
Why did the ghost start tinkering with machines?
Because it wanted to prove that even in the afterlife, there’s always room for a little “spiritual” progress!
The Mathematical Baker Title: “Pi and Pastries”
Why did the mathematician become a baker?
Because they saw the “fraction” of the equation that needed a sweet solution!
The Zombie’s Job Hunt Title: “Un-Deadlines”
Why did the zombie struggle to find a job?
Because every interview they attended turned into a “grave” misunderstanding of their qualifications!
The Chatty Parrot Title: “Fluff and Philosophy”
Why did the parrot start hosting a talk show?
Because it had a knack for discussing “feathered” topics and believed in bringing the “beak” and wisdom to the masses!
The Space-Surfing Astronaut Title: “Cosmic Waves”
Why did the astronaut bring a surfboard to space?
Because they wanted to catch some “stellar” waves and ride the tides of the universe!
The Marathon-Sleeping Sloth Title: “Slow and Steady Rest”
Why did the sloth sign up for a marathon?
Because they knew the race would be so long that they could take multiple “power naps” along the way!
The Zen Coffee Brewer Title: “Brewing Enlightenment”
Why did the coffee enthusiast become a Zen master?
Because they realized that brewing the perfect cup required a “grounds” for mindfulness and a dash of tranquility!
The Technological Ghost Title: “Haunting the Hardware”
Why did the ghost take up coding?
Because it wanted to leave a lasting impression by writing lines of code that were truly “otherworldly”!
The Detective Cat Title: “Purr-suit of Clues”
Why did the cat become a detective?
Because it had a “claw-some” talent for uncovering mysteries, and it knew how to get to the bottom of any “purr-plexing” case!
