A man goes out drinking with his friends

A man goes out drinking with his friends after promising his wife that he’d be home by midnight.

Midnight comes and goes. He finally arrives home just before 3 a.m. As he walks in, he realizes the cuckoo clock is about to go off.

With a flash of genius, he decides to coo another nine times to make it seem like it’s still midnight. Finished, he sneaks into bed, satisfied with his plan.

The next morning, he wakes up and finds that his wife isn’t mad at all.

“You sleep okay last night?” he asks cautiously.

“Fine,” the wife says. “But we need a new cuckoo clock.”


“Last night it cooed three times, then it yelled ‘Crap!’, cooed another six times and giggled. Then it cooed three more times, tripped over the cat and farted.”

Here are some more jokes for you.

Cosmic Chefs

Why did the extraterrestrial beings decide to become gourmet chefs on Earth?

Because they wanted to fuse the flavors of the universe and create dishes that transcended time and space, proving that a single bite could transport you across galaxies and dimensions!

Time-Traveling Tourists

Why did the tourists from the future visit the 21st century?

To witness the golden era of memes and internet culture firsthand, and to finally settle the age-old debate of whether “cats” or “dogs” were the dominant species in the realm of viral videos!

Pirate Astronomers

Why did the pirates become astronomers?

Because they were tired of navigating by the stars and wanted to understand the celestial phenomena that had guided their swashbuckling adventures for centuries!

Haunted Hair Salon

Why did the ghosts open a hair salon?

Because they wanted to give clients a hair-raising experience that involved not just a cut and color, but a full-bodied “spiritual” transformation, complete with ectoplasmic blowouts and spectral curls!

Quantum Yoga Retreat

Why did the yogis decide to host a retreat for quantum physicists?

Because they believed that mastering both the poses of the body and the principles of quantum mechanics could lead to an enlightened understanding of the universe’s “flexible” nature!

Musical Mathematicians

Why did the mathematicians start a band?

Because they realized that complex equations and harmonious melodies both had the power to evoke emotions, and they wanted to create compositions that proved that music was truly the language of numbers!

Philosophical Robots’ Book Club

Why did the robots form a book club for philosophical literature?

Because they had concluded that even machines could ponder life’s profound questions, and they wanted to explore the “hardcover” topics that truly made them compute!

Zen Garden Penguins

Why did the penguins establish a Zen garden in Antarctica?

Because they understood that the chill vibes of enlightenment could be found even in the coldest of environments, and they wanted to encourage fellow penguins to waddle on the path of inner tranquility!

Haunted Museum

Why did the ghosts decide to open a museum?

Because they wanted to display the historical artifacts of their afterlives and share the stories that had shaped their ghostly journeys, ensuring that their “supernatural” legacies would be preserved for generations!

Alien Comedians

Why did the aliens venture into stand-up comedy on Earth?

Because they realized that making humans laugh was the fastest way to forge intergalactic friendships, and they believed that sharing their otherworldly perspectives could create a bridge of cosmic chuckles!